AFF Student Skydiver

The plane ride up to altitude makes me n-n-n-n-nervous. But not as much as it used to. Now I start breathing deeply and really trying to chill myself out near the jump run. I visualise what I need to do on the jump at hand. I really see it happening in my head. It seems to work so far. I normally do this at least three times. In between doing this, the JM will ask me what I’ll do at 5500 feet. Why pull of course….

It all starts when the JMs are getting ready to exit. They’re tightening their leg straps, checking my rig, handshakes all round, that’s when the heart increases.

What can you do though? Once the JM is out there hanging outside the door, copping all the wind, you can’t really ask them to politely step back inside the plane.

One of the tandem masters told Basia that experienced skydivers also get butterflies, they’ve just taught them to all fly in formation. Below is something I found ages ago on the net. I forget where, but I kept it as some of it is funny. Some of it not.
Here’s 61 “Things to Do” on the ride to altitude:

1) Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to the
other jumpers.

2) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering “Shut up,
damn it, all of you just SHUT UP!”
3) Whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a Small World” incessantly.
4) Sell Girl Scout cookies.

……more continued

5) Beat out bongo riffs on your helmet.
6) Unzip your jumpsuit part way, and while peering inside ask: “Got enough
air in there?”
7) One word: Flatulence.
Frown and mutter while squirming “gotta go, gotta go” then hold still,
sigh and say “oops!”
9) Show other jumpers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
10) Holler “There’s a bump!” every time the plane encounters turbulence.
11) Carry a small ice chest that says “human head” on the side.
12) Stare at another jumper for a while, then announce “You’re one of THEM!”
and then move to a different seating spot if available.
13) Ask each jumper if you can pull their reserve handle for them.
14) Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to the other jumpers “through” it.
15) Look around and ask “Is that your Dytter?”
16) Say “Announcing the Xth Floor!” every 1000 ft.
17) Listen to the cabin walls with a stethoscope.
18) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other
jumpers that this is your “personal space.”
19) Ask the jumper next to you, “If you ‘go in’ in a forest, does it make a
sound?”
20) Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another jumper, “Waa see wha i muh
mouf?”
21) Announce in a demonic voice: “I must find a more suitable host body.”
22) Make explosion noises.
23) Stare at your thumb and say “I think it’s getting larger.”
24) Sing “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” or “99 bottles of beer on the wall” in
round.
25) After seatbelts are off passing through 1000 ft, connect mismatching
pairs in consideration of the next load.
26) Ask about the in-flight beverage, meal and movie choices. Insist that
you were told a meal would be served when you bought your ticket.
27) When jump run is announced, stand up and yell “But I paid for a
round-trip ticket!”
28) Play “Eenie, meenie, minie, moe …” while pointing at the reserve
handles of nearby jumpers.
29) Hum Gregorian chants.
30) When someone is spotting, point towards the horizon and innocently ask
“Is that Mexico?”
31) Moan, clutch your stomach, mutter “Oh no … not now …” and ask your
neighbor if you can borrow their full-face helmet.
32) Ask for Emergency Row seating.
33) After the first person exits, say “It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s …
OOOPS!”
34) Cough then mutter “Don’t worry, the doctor said it can only be spread
through physical contact.”
35) Pretend to pick lice out of your neighbor’s hair and eat them.
36) Theorize incorrectly on why airplanes and ram-air parachutes actually
fly.
37) Bow down and grovel before the local skygod.
38) Play rock, paper, scissors - if no one will play with you then play
against yourself using both hands.
39) Hand out labels that say “Plan B - Part 1″ and “Plan B - Part 2″ for
everyones cutaway and reserve handles.
40) Have the other jumpers get the attention of the jumper furthest from you, then wave and smile broadly at that person when they look at you.
41) Turn to a student and say “Don’t worry, the engine sounds *much* better
than it did yesterday.”
42) Sing “Edelweiss” and vehemently insist that the others join in.
43) Say to the jumper across from you, “All is readiness, Comrade. This time
we cannot fail!”
44) Pick your nose, then hold up your finger to another jumper with the
invitation: “Booger?”
45) Tell the jumper next to you that that skydiving is nothing compared to
the time when you were pinned down under a deadly hail of Jap fire.
46) Speak into your altimeter, then hold it to your ear while nodding
sagely.
47) Ask the other jumpers in a thick German accent for their tickets.
48) Shift around as you sit and tell the other jumpers that thongs are
over-rated.
49) Talk about the parachute equipment you purchased on the Home Shopping
Channel.
50) Sing “Rawhide” as the plane accelerates on takeoff roll.
51) Start a petition demanding more altitude.
52) Repetitively ask “Are we there yet?”
53) Tap furtively on the bulkhead and mutter “Now where’s that secret
panel?”
54) Try to hyponotize the jumper across from you.
55) After you put your goggles on, act surprised and say hello to the person
across from you.
56) Give the jumper next to you a “Wet-Willy”.
57) When the pilot announces jumprun advise the others to return their seats
and tray tables to a full, upright and locked position.
58) Bring your own joystick and pretend you’re flying the plane.
59) Move your helmet past your neighbor’s head and announce “The DeathStar
has cleared the planet!”
60) According to the stories of one of the jet loads at Quincy several years
ago …
61) Solve quadratic equations aloud.